I say what I feel. I write what I feel.
I am in a pissed off mood at the moment.... I'm mostly angry with myself for getting to this point. Life in my mind is becoming complicated which is entirely my own doing. I have to keep it simple again. I cannot be there for everyone and I feel guilty that I think it's even possible to do so. I need to vent. I need to clear my head from this shit going on. I need to know who will be there when I come back to my senses.
Knowing my own karma I deserve to lose a few along the way. I have pushed people away in the past, but for me it has worked and got me to move on. "Live, learn and let go." is what I tell myself all the time. To be attached is to suffer and I feel the suffering to the point where I don't know where I'm going anymore.
I have fallen for someone again. When I say "again" I mean fallen for the same girl twice. My gut feeling is to not let her go, if I do I will lose her forever and I will never know and regret it.
Logic is telling me that this is all in my head and I don't know her too well to actually form an opinion like this at all. Too many factors that don't make up a balanced solution for us two. The probability is less than 10% for it to work out. = Summary shows that I am indeed chasing a dream!!!!!
For the sake of sanity, career and security it will be logic who takes victory.
For the sake of possible love and happiness I stay true to the ticket that has helped me win in poker all of the time.
I am torn between the two.........To feel pain is to acknowledge one's own gift of life once they survive it. If I continue this ignorance of making a choice, will I survive it?
Knowing my own karma I deserve to lose a few along the way. I have pushed people away in the past, but for me it has worked and got me to move on. "Live, learn and let go." is what I tell myself all the time. To be attached is to suffer and I feel the suffering to the point where I don't know where I'm going anymore.
I have fallen for someone again. When I say "again" I mean fallen for the same girl twice. My gut feeling is to not let her go, if I do I will lose her forever and I will never know and regret it.
Logic is telling me that this is all in my head and I don't know her too well to actually form an opinion like this at all. Too many factors that don't make up a balanced solution for us two. The probability is less than 10% for it to work out. = Summary shows that I am indeed chasing a dream!!!!!
For the sake of sanity, career and security it will be logic who takes victory.
For the sake of possible love and happiness I stay true to the ticket that has helped me win in poker all of the time.
I am torn between the two.........To feel pain is to acknowledge one's own gift of life once they survive it. If I continue this ignorance of making a choice, will I survive it?
This entry was posted by jayblazin', on
Tuesday, October 24, 2006.
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Choosing a path when your head doesn't agree with your heart is difficult. Especially when both are just as stubborn. Which do you believe when both are a part of you and claim as much of your individuality.
I take a break from both. I take a break from the situation. It isn't running away, as much as it is giving yourself a breath. A place outside of the quarreling inside.
When you return you will resolve it. Out of anger and out of exhaustion you will come up with a solution. You will silence the fighting and satisfy your sanity while keeping your heart in tact.
R: After you take damage from an attack, ready your character.
The wise man, my cousin! Thank you for your advice, I needed to hear/read that haha.
R: Once your character has been readied from being committed already this turn, you may draw X cards, X equals your hand size.
(Hahahahah I'm ready to block and reverse anything you got!)
Drixx, I saw you on the subway. Teehee.
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